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Sovereign Emperor proclaims COVID-19 pandemic a hoax

Acts

Sovereign Emperor proclaims COVID-19 pandemic a hoax

15 September 7529 AM
His Imperial Majesty Alexander IV, Defender of the Faith, Turtle and Elephants, may the Almighty God bless his reign, gave Imperial Assent to an Act of the Senate proclaiming the so-called "COVID-19 pandemic" a hoax.

The Act, motioned by His Imperial Highness Tsesarevych Jaroslav Aleksandrovych, starts with a largest to date recital, outlining the inconsistencies of the mainstream media coverage and government measures in regards to the SARS-CoV-2. Among others, it takes note that the lethality and mortality of the novel coronavirus disease are consistent with a strong influenza season, about 80% of all infected develop only mild symptoms, and that no conclusive evidence for the benefits of face masks and lockdowns exists. The recital also mentions the violation of the right of worshippers to attend religious services due to restrictions.

In addition to formally proclaiming the pandemic a hoax, the Act makes it illegal to spread rumours about its existence and promote vaccination against Sars-CoV-2, as well as bans calling for restrictive measures, repeating the "stay home save lives" slogan and bars those who don't display any symptoms from wearing face masks. Punishment for violators — typically for Pavlov — will consist of losing all noble privileges, if the Pavlovian had any, and being whipped 500 times and exiled from the Empire if the violator is a plebeian.

The State Gazette approached HIH Tsesarevych Jaroslav Aleksandrovych with a request to comment on his reasons for proposing the Act. "Time has come for us to stand against the madness trying to rid us from our way of life, the fictional "pandemic" that we wouldn't have even noticed if not for the constant media trumpeting, fake footages from China and loads of fake news gibberish about Italian caskets. Is the virus real? Sure, and I personally know people who contracted it. Yet, the "stay home save lives" hysteria has already caused far more damage than the virus ever will so let's stop with the virtue-signaling rubbish fueled by far-left propagandists with a missionary zeal who have only this year discovered that human life is finite. Why don't we ban cars and machinery also? Nobody will die in traffic nor factory accidents. Truly, may the Lord save us from those who want to save the world." — said the Tsesarevych.