ALEKSANDROPOL — On this Wednesday past His Imperial Majesty the Pavlovian Emperor and Autocrat of the Romans, may the Almighty God bless his reign, granted Imperial Assent to the Act of the Senate to Protect the Sanity and Health of the Pavlovians; more commonly referred to as the QR-code Act. The Act was approved unanimously by the Conscript Fathers as a comprehensive approach to ensuring sound public health within Pavlov, in line with the Emperor’s historic and paternal solicitude for the welfare of his subjects.
The provisions of the Act mandate the creation of a QR code and attendant mobile application to be required for entrance into certain locations such as government buildings, Pavlovian Orthodox churches, private businesses, and telecommunications and broadcasting offices; registering a certain value according to the user’s vaccination status for a variety of ailments as well as “the correct opinion on world-view as considered acceptable by the Imperial Government” — such as acceptance of the authentic biblical cosmology of a ‘flat earth.’ Although it also addressed common medical ailments and vaccinations the Act moreover broke new ground in outlining a holistic response to contemporary health crises: defining illnesses such as Qerimbasy disease, Lenin disease (a disordered inclination toward Communistic tendencies), and heresy against the Church as maladies which can and should be combatted.
His all-Holiness Œcumenical Patriarch +Vasyl II spoke to the Gazette after the QR Act was granted Imperial Assent, describing the current work of the Holy Synod in advising His Imperial Majesty’s Government as to the safety and moral/spiritual efficacy of treatments for COVID-7529, Qerimbasy disease, and others; as well as remarking on the high hopes for the installation of QR technology in the Pro-Cathedral of the Theotokos and St Simeon upon its public opening in the near future. Other prominent members of the Senate such as HIH the Tsesarevna and HS the Consul White also expressed their fulsome support for the legislation, touting especially its effects in counteracting the deleterious effects of Lenin disease within Pavlov.